Skip to main content

Rebello Lobo 2018 update


Dear friends and loved ones,
 Anticipating a packed agenda in the weeks leading up to Christmas, for the first time ever I begin to write this letter while it’s still only November (albeit the last weekend in November). Whether this means I am just better at prioritizing and planning ahead or I simply need more time to write, I will let you decide:)

Let me begin with a warm Nigerian greeting. How far? Wétin dey? That’s, how are you? What’s up? in Pidgin English, Nigeria’s unofficial lingua franca. One of the things we have most appreciated about Nigeria, is the warmth and importance of a greeting. No matter who you meet, from a passerby asking for directions, to a VIP, they will always spend a few moments saying hello, asking how was your day (and night- which by the way is completely innocent) and often complimenting you on your dress, your smile, or your hair style.  (Talking about hair, Indian hair is apparently quite in demand  this side of the world and I have been approached by Nigerian friends and strangers alike to sell them my hair, but that's a story for another time).

So 2018...what was it like for us? Well, the first words that come to mind are ‘action packed’. Between housework, homework, work, social life and after school clubs, ( and the fact that we always seemed to be baking), it did feel like the weeks were always rushing. And as those weeks flew by, the kids grew another year older. They began to spend more time in their rooms (with the door shut), our conversations often turned into debates that got very interesting and we realized that their innocent childhoods are fast receding. They are indeed growing too fast.


‘Growing too fast’, a phrase that is both so totally true and false at the same time, because often in the day to day of things, nothing seems fast at all.  Those meal times when everything spills, and everybody is fussy, can drag and seem like an eternity; and when sullen moods or snarky brassiness take over an ordinary day, those moments can seem tedious and unending. But the good days, they rush by and we find ourselves desperate to savor those memories and the warm afterglow of parental love, pride and joy.

 In spite of them ‘growing too fast’, surprisingly there is not much to report as the milestones now are fewer and more far between. Ah, yes! the kids, they did successfully get through their first year in an American curriculum school. Phew! While we will still shamelessly and without doubt pledge allegiance to the British system, the school has grown on all of us and we do appreciate the friends, fab teachers and the encouragement the kids have had, to take initiative and shine.

 Another highlight is that Neeira (13) and Liraya(9) have gotten a little more excited about sports this year. They discovered and seem to be enjoying Volleyball, Taekwondo and Tennis (much to Gerard’s utter delight). They also both on their own initiative stood for and won student council  posts and have done exceedingly well at it. 

 As for Ryeika (15), she is still as spirited as ever. Despite a torn ligament over the summer, (which is only just healed and hence has kept her off all sports), she has been up, about, smiling and an active helper at every school activity. Her artistic talents have really blossomed this year and it looks like we have another ingenious artist in the making.

 Arhantika (19), has ENJOYED her first year  in Cardiff and absolutely believes that she is in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. Most of you know, that she won second place (from among 80,000 entries) for her photograph “Lungotevere’ in the CBRE Urban photographer of the year- youth category and will be featured in the CBRE Coffee Table book 2018. Her photography is evolving. You can check out her work  on instagram @ArhantikarebelloFor this and much more we continue to be so very proud. She has battled the weather blues that comes with living in the UK and has handled university life ups and downs with ease. She has proven herself to be the independent, strong woman we always envisioned her to be.

 Another big highlight is that Neeira and Gerard got over their big fear of dogs. Taliya (meaning pasta in Hausa)came into our lives at the end of last year and for the first few weeks Neeira threatened to file for emancipation because we had brought a dog into the house. But Taliya won everyone over and today Neeira spoils her the most, Gerard allows her on our bed and both will even clean after her. Taliya has truly worked some magic. She also gave us a few scary moments, when she 'swallowed' a sock that blocked 6 inches of her intestine. But a surgery and a lot of TLC later she was up and running about quite soon. Of course, we now have a no tolerance policy towards socks in our house. They can be worn, but never seen. As you can imagine that complicates our life just a tad, but all in all worth it , don't you think?

 For Gerard and me life goes on as usual. I published a short memoir, ‘A Little Girl’s Dream’ earlier this year; a big life goal for me. If you still haven’t read it, it’s on Amazon. 

Otherwise, all in all Gerard and I enjoy  our little corner of Nigeria and the friends we have made. In many ways it's idyllic. We don’t battle traffic, weekends are usually lazy, and our household chores are at a minimum thanks to the excellent help we get here. And yet, many days idyllic isn’t enough and we yearn to stretch out and break free of the bubble we are in. We are in our forties and have been quite lucky to have already had quite some enriching opportunities and life experiences. Now we look ahead to the next 40, and we wonder what now?  We seem to constantly be on a quest to find activities or experiences that sustain our souls, avoid stagnation, make us feel energized. We ask ourselves ‘What life goals can we reach for, if most of them have been achieved’? We are still searching for answers.

In the meantime, in our continued pursuit for adventure, we did invest in some remarkable holidays this year. As always, we visited incredible India and spent precious time with family and friends. We also swam in the dead sea, visited Jesus’s baptism site on the river Jordan, rode camels in Petra, ate rice paper spring rolls by the dozen in Hanoi’s old quarter, sailed in Halong Bay and mingled with our very own crazy rich Asians in enchanting Singapore. The Singapore trip requires a special mention as the highlight was a reunion with Gerard's friends from a lifetime ago. As stories were retold and laughter resounded, we visited memories from those glory days of youth. Our kids bonded. They had sleepovers, explored Singapore together  and laid the foundation for their own friendships. We left Singapore, our hearts smiling.

 Elsewhere though, so much is not quite right and it’s hard not be dispirited by the world’s grief, or daunted to see those who resist it, denounced, victimized and execrated. In our own country the mixing of religion and politics has created a deadly potion of poison that is threatening the very secularism that is the core of our nation. Yet, in spite of all the mayhem, this year more than ever, we have also seen courage like never before. Emma Gonzalez and her band of young brave gun control activists, the more than 150 survivors of sexual abuse who spoke at Larry Nassar's sentencing, all the women who came forward saying #MeToo and #TimesUp are just a few who particularly touched and inspired our family. If our future is in the hands of young adults like these, we should have no fear. What seems like a hopeless swamp, can indeed be built up by kids like these, into a world that is fair, that is free, that is desired. It is possible, it can be real.

 The other day one of those viral posts caught my attention. It was a letter from a mother to a daughter who had asked ‘Is Santa real?’. The mother begins by explaining that though it is the parents who buy, wrap and put the gifts under the tree, they are not Santa. Santa, she says is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. She tells her daughter that what he does is simple, but powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

Throughout our life, we need this capacity to believe: in ourselves, in our friends, in our talents and in our families. We need to believe in things we can’t measure or even hold in our hand. We need to have faith. We need to believe in miracles and in powers that will light our life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

This is our wish for you this Christmas...that you may always believe and that you might always have faith. May you never lose hope, and may you always find strength from the forces of love, magic, hope and happiness that are sometime obscure and often invisible. Each of us have our own stories; each of us are waiting for our own miracles. May the very spirit of Christmas which in itself is intangible and impalpable bring on those miracles, fill our souls and make us fearless in the pursuit of what makes us happy.

As we would say here in Nigeria, may 2019 be a year of "No wahala" (no troubles).  We treasure your friendship and love. Thank you for being part of our story. 


With all our love - Sanchita, Gerard, Arhantika, Ryeika, Neeira, Liraya and Taliya




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Rebello Lobo Christmas update 2023- Transitions Trials Triumphs

It’s a few days before Christmas and here I am, sitting in one of my most favorite spots, the verandah of my ancestral home.  As I look back and contemplate the year that has been, I try to break down the share worthy moments and … I really do not know where to begin. The Rebello Lobo's have had another almost unbelievable year! A year of TRANSITIONS,  TRIALS and  TRIUMPHS. TRANSITIONS The Big move to Colombo Our 8 th move, was preluded by some formidable moments and so it was with much relief that we landed in Sri Lanka, the beautiful ‘Pearl of the Indian Ocean’- our home for the next (we hope) four years. Taliya took the journey very well and has since taken to Island life like quite the seasoned third culture dog she is. She might quite possibly be the only Lahsa Apso in Sri Lanka and as a result has been getting quite the celebrity attention. Colombo reminds us so much of home, and we are loving the food, the music, the culture, and the beaches. Home is just a one ho...

We didn't just raise a strong girl, we raised a warrior

Neeira-in the last 18 years you have brought us much pride, love, and laughter. We watched you become a remarkable person with a strong moral compass. You often taught us, that speaking up for something even in the most uncomfortable of situations was ALWAYS worth it. You never hesitated to break the silence for what needed to be said. You took on stigmas and cycles and chains for you believed they needed to end. Your loyalty to your sisters, your mother tongue, and your mother land is inspiring. And your diligence and discipline for anything you take on is admirable. As you celebrate this milestone birthday on the cusp of the new adventure that awaits you, we wish that all your dreams come true. We hope a spicy plate of biryani will always bring you comfort, that you meet your favorite Bollywood stars someday, that you get to travel and travel and travel and go do a semester at sea.  You have heard us saying ever so often 'life is unfair' and you will experience this yourself ...

Technological displays of affection strictly prohibited!

Its Saturday morning....Would have loved to sleep in but have been up since 6.30. We had three kids over for a sleepover last night and of course since its not a school day, they have to wake up on their own much before they really need too:) But that's fine, it gave me a chance to have an early morning lengthy cuppa out on the terrace. Though the younger kids are up and about my TEENAGER is fast asleep. Its the one day she gets to sleep in. I tell the younger kids to play quietly but its a tall order and though they are not extremely loud, their laughter, chatter and Lirayas periodical Liraya screams fill the house. I am on my computer by now and catching up with emails and Facebook. Suddenly there is a ping- new email alert. Who's it from? The TEENAGER! Apparently she is awake and sending me an email asking me to forward her her homework which comes to me weekly from school(another post on this later). She is directly below me. She doesn't think it necessary to walk up ...