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Parenting Digital Natives

When my parents last visited us, they were awed when my preschooler excitedly showed them the power point presentations she loves working on. She does this for fun. She chooses a topic, sometimes it’s her favorite band, sometime it’s something as mundane as shoes or there was even one titled ‘things’. She googles relevant images, copies and pastes them on to the slide, does word art, graphics, the works. She may not be able to spell many words yet, but she is a power point expert.
She, like all my other kids are Digital Natives, the generation of people born during or after the rise of digital technologies. (And we all, born before 1980 are called Digital immigrants by the way.) There are kids like her everywhere. You see them on the bus, the teenager with the ear plugs, listening to her iPod and texting at record breaking speed from her phone, your 7 year old niece whom you go to when you have trouble figuring out your smart phone, the intern at office who knows what to do when your email crashes, and the sixteen year old neighbor who is a successful YouTuber. Having been exposed to technology all their lives they impress and annoy us Digital Immigrants in equal measure.

For those of us who have Digital Native kids, there seems to be a whole new parenting code. We often find ourselves in a parenting dilemma. How much screen time, should you allow your kids? When is the right age to buy them that smart phone they have been begging for? Do they really need an iPod and a tablet? Why is the school giving them so much computer based homework? Well friends, it is no use fighting it, the digital era is here and not going anywhere in a hurry. So my advice would be, don’t waste time and energy keeping technology away from your kids, accept it and take steps to integrate all that technology into your family’s daily routine, keeping firm boundaries of course.

Believe me I didn’t start off quite so cool. I remember the first time my teenage daughter sent me a text to say goodnight from the room next door, I blew a fuse. However five years down the line, while I still strongly insist on a more personal (read non digital) code of communication with the kids, I must admit that I have caved in quite a bit. Today, I don’t hesitate to WhatsApp my 16 year old who I know will not hear me if I call out to her, (because she has headphones glued to her ears), when I need her to come to the dinner table. I don’t tell my 10 year old to go find the encyclopedia when I know she can research her history project much quicker by googling it (and it’s true the depth of her research is fascinating, because she is able to access so many more articles and find out so much more information that any one encyclopedia would give her). And I don’t bat an eyelid when my twelve year old listens to music while she does her homework or my youngest asks for a Spotify account.

I know many of you might be shaking your heading and thinking that this is not the right approach and maybe you are right. But all I know is that this generation was born digital and the future will only see technology being integrated more fully into our daily lives. I have learnt by now which battles to fight and the digital battle is not one of them. So while I still set limits over their TV time, insist that all gadgets get switched off by a certain time every night, (yes I also have all passwords and do random spy swoops periodically), I don’t get stressed about the rest of their digital lives. All I can do is make them understand the importance of using technology responsibly. I explain that every gadget, app and social media forum they have, is a privilege that can be revoked at any time and I continuously caution them on the dangers that lurk behind their screens.  So far it seems to be working, and today I can happily say that I am the proud digital immigrant parent of some very tech savvy Digital Natives. The future is theirs…and if I can empower them to navigate the maze of digital advances that come their way with confidence and wisdom, then I would have done my part.

P.S. And in case you think Digital Natives don’t know any entertainment other than what spews out of their IPhones and Laptops, let me re assure you that that needn’t always be the case. My set of Digital Natives love Lego, baking, sketching, jumping on the trampoline, skating, books and playing in the rain. It’s all about the balance. The balance, that you subtly teach them to develop at the beginning. The balance, that in time you will see them effortlessly maintain.


(originally published by Mangalore- Nov 2015 issue)
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