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Celebrating Twenty Years...


As far as romantic love stories go, ours is a pretty good story to tell. What makes it more exciting is that there is a his and hers version but I'll leave you in suspense and keep that story for another time. What I can share is that we kind of had our first date on Valentines day and as many humorous anecdotes as we each have about that night, we both admit it was magical and yes the beginning of a beautiful journey together. No we weren't already in love then and no it was hardly a traditional date or romantic evening for two by any means, but it was the first time we were out together and the sparks did fly and cupid was definitely at hand.

So Feb 14th does remain a very special date for us and every year we celebrate that anniversary, reminiscing, laughing, being thankful. And the years have flown... 

20 years in fact! Now that's quite some pressure. And so in the days leading up to this Valentines day, I put some real deep thought into what I could give him, this man I fell in love with twenty years. How could I surprise him? Give him something that would really convey how very happy I had been these twenty years, and how very much I was looking forward to the years ahead. 

I had some ideas, but then I shot them down myself. Today, you have to admit that buying gifts for anyone is hard. Most often they already have everything. And it's even harder buying gifts for guys. Also, that week I had a sick kid at home, so didn't even have the chance to go out and do some window shopping, where perhaps something would have caught my eye as an appropriate gift. So basically long story short, Feb 14th rolled around and I had NOTHING.

He apparently though, had done much better than me and I woke up to 20 beautiful tulips and a sparkling ring. I was thrilled, because as cliche as it maybe, flowers and jewelry always does make you feel special and pampered. But then of course I felt more guilty. I couldn't let this day pass without marking it in some special way. I had to let him know that he had been an amazing life partner these twenty years and that what we had was something special. But I had NOTHING.

And so the day passed. The girls get as excited about valentines day as us and so we try and make the day special for them too. We made a special breakfast for them, gave them each a tulip and a little note saying how much we loved and appreciated them. We also decided to take them all out for dinner that evening as opposed to a romantic evening for two.

But we did manage a quick late lunch, just him and me, at a Vietnamese place down the road. We had a nice time but I still had NOTHING!

We came home after lunch and I could have made an excuse and gone back out and tried to buy him a gift. But I didn't. I was still guilty though and getting desperate. I kept racking my brain for an idea but kept coming up with NOTHING.

And then I thought, let me try and put down in words whatever it is that I am thinking, maybe that will be SOMETHING better than NOTHING. 

So I sat down and let the words that were in my head (and giving me quite a headache all day in fact) pour out. And here's the result... 


In twenty years,
I have told you a million times that I love you.
I have called you my soul mate.
I have told you that you make my life vibrant,
Beautiful,
Exciting and
Brilliant.

In twenty years,
I have told you a million times just how much I need you.
I have called you my best friend.
I have told you just how you always make me feel beautiful,
Loved,
Remarkable and
Exceptional.

In twenty years,
I have told you a million times that what we have is special.
And that even though we often fight and shout and disagree
At the end of the day 
I still love you, 
Need you and
Want you.

So I wonder what can I say today
Something new or different,
That can remind you of just how intensely I still feel .
And I am stumped.

But then I look around us.
At our beautiful family
At the love that we have nurtured.
At the memories we hold close.
The thrills,
The challenges,
The pain and
the laughter.

And I know that you don’t need to be reminded.
That you know.

I sent this to him that evening, as we sat across from each other eating burgers at this trendy restaurant that child No. 1 had picked (Yes Italians can even make burger joints trendy and chic). I sent it to him on his phone and sitting there, surrounded by his family, two of whom were fighting over a straw, while two others argued about who would get to be the DJ on the way home, he read it, reaching for my hand. And then he looked up and smiled. And I knew he truly knew. 

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